The empowering bullet I Carry in my purse!

I have been thinking about writing this for a long time now, its been months that I was procrastinating, after my personal laptop was toppled over by a new windows update and now it is as slow as a snail. I have given up on him! My poor dellarin!
Is it just me who has named her laptop?

Hey, its not weed, before you make any guesses!

It was my birthday few weeks ago, while my parents asked me what I need, I couldn't really figure out what I needed. Clothes, Shoes, Bags - I had everything I need. My phone is working fine, so I don't need an overpriced upgrade. While I was trying hard to think what I need, I went down my memory lane of college days and early work days, where my social circle was equipped enough to buy whatever they wanted irrespective of the cost aspect of it. However, I was born and brought up in a set up where cost of the commodity was a deciding factor for the purchase.

When I was constantly being reminded of my chilllar (meagre) salary by my brother whenever I used look at the smart phones in the market, that I cannot afford it with the mathematics of the cost of the phone needs to be 10% of my annual salary - which was a far fetched dream for me back then. Soon my loyalty bonus came and I added some of the money of my own and bought the unsought phone in market Nokia Lumia 780, when everyone had Samsung galaxy, Note, iPhone - I was satisfied with Lumia 780, because that was also a huge upgrade for me from Nokia C200 - my cutie white camera phone. I still love all of my purchases. My current phone is almost 3 years old now, I am not bored of it yet. I will dump it if it starts behaving like my Dellarin!

I have huge place in my heart for makeup and the make up artists. I never could afford to go to big salons for hair and makeup for any family functions - so I learnt everything on my own. From applying eyeliners to putting on colored contact lenses - it has been an incredible journey. The make up has changed so much over the years, it is no longer the symbol of hiding insecurity, it is now loud and proud banner of confidence and self love. I am saying this because, I feel totally different the day I wear makeup vs the day I am raw and vulnerable.

I have been working from home for past 1.5 years now, we all have become so usual to pajamas/shorts and t-shirt now that it is difficult to imagine ourselves in the formals we had two years ago in our closet. Will we be able to fit in those, I know that mine wont fit me. Everything being virtual now, video conference calls are inevitable, with the curl nest over my head, I can't imagine myself to be on video in my usual work from home attire, so I decided that I will sync up my Hair wash days with my meetings. As weird it may sound, it has worked greatly for me. However, there are surprises every corner of the world - when the client calls you without notice and that's always on a video #VideoCallCourtesy - I have to be on video as well.

what do I do in 15 mins notice - just get a hair band and tie my hair back - wash my face and apply lipstick - that's it. I saw how a lipstick makes a huge difference on how I look and how confidently I present myself. So when I was looking back on what I needed for my birthday - I decided, it needs to be a lipstick. But which one- there are so many brands, so many colors - how do I choose without trying, well that was a leap of faith. I have already tried the mediocre brands ranging from 250 to 700 bucks. It was time of celebration- it was my self gift. It has to be big and huge, larger than life, so I chose this brand that I have been longing to get from last 7 years!

Yes, 7 years is a long wait to be able to buy a lipstick, but justifying my "purchase worth" on 1700 bucks lipstick was hard all over these years, I always thought I couldn’t afford it and 1700 for a lipstick can never be justifiable. But when I applied my first lipstick from this high end brand - I was in awe of it, I kept asking myself, why didn't I buy it earlier - it is very much worth of 1700. I felt myself even with lipstick on - did not feel like I was wearing anything over my lips.

It was so empowering to have it on - plus my proud broad shoulders thinking - Girl!, you can afford it now and you are not going to adjust for anything less than this! Wear your color and show the world what you can do!